Chairman Mao Finishes First!

Welp...

I've seen lots of photos of me lately, so I decided to start running again this week, after a little unintentional hiatus as cycling ever so insidiously usurped my life.

The original plan was balance: Cycling*, yoga, running, lifting.
Which became cycling, yoga, running.
Which became cycling, yoga.
Which became cyclingcyclingcycling.
Which became cycling, yoga.
Which became cycling, yoga, running.

*includes spinning

Now you're all caught up (if you haven't moved on to check your email or water your plants or something).

The running's going OK, I guess, except when I almost died on Thursday at the gym while trying to high-five Marc from my treadmill. I was just so excited to look up to see a friendly face, and as I took out my earphones and turned, there was a wobble, a yelp, and a remarkable save (pure athletic prowess). This is why I keep my head down, under my baseball cap, in spin class. They don't make blinders for people; that's pretty much just a horse market.

Speaking of farm animals, last night at the Black Sheep reunion and slideshow (I can't believe there really was an inflatable sheep, in response to my "who's bringing the inflatable sheep?" comment on the evite! Especially since inflation is anathema to our leader! Do you see the personal sacrifice here?! Or at least the irony?!? Did you even look up "anathema" for crying out loud?!?!), right before Morgan told me that I always keep my head down in spin class and never talk to anyone, Wendy mentioned that representatives of the gym's running club would be running this morning's Lake Merritt 5-10-15K; you can run once around the lake, twice around the lake, or three times! "Choose-a-you," as we Italians say. I'm not really Italian, but once upon a time, I knew an Italian named Luciano who spoke really poor English, and that's how he said it - he also had the most hideous fluorescent board shorts that he wore constantly, because men don't wear shorts in Italy no matter how hot, unless they're tourists, and he was just so happy he could wear shorts here that he didn't care what they looked like. So picture this trim, well-groomed guy with the most fashionable horn-rimmed tortoise-shell glasses, and crisp button-down shirts...and fluorescent board shorts.

Oops. Back to the race. It's held every 4th Sunday of the month by the Lake Merritt Joggers and Striders. Wendy is training for a 24-hour run (where she aims to top 100 miles in a row, and of course she will, because she's already done like 72 miles over the course of a 12-hour run), Marc's her antelopean protege, and Judy's been training for the Rock and Roll Half Marathon (her first, I think!) next month.

Well I live in the area, so I decided to join them. It's such a great concept (to foster a sense of community and camaraderie in my very own neighborhood!), and it's so cute because everyone gets a gold ribbon at the end, just for finishing. I entered the 10K (it didn't occur to me that it might cost money, so Wendy had to front me some cash. Duh.). My absolute favorite part was when Wendy was explaining to Marc and me before the start exactly how she was going to pace us (because she was thinking I might be able to keep up! How cute is that?!). I didn't tell her, but my only goal was not to get lapped by Wendy (she was doing the 15K).

I WON!

Well, among the women, aged 30-39, who did the 10K, anyway. And I may have been the only woman aged 30-39 who did the 10K. But I got a blue ribbon, so whatever, OK? Actually, I thought it was a mistake. But the results announcer said my name again, and told me to come get my ribbon, so I knew it wasn't a mistake. Of course I said, "Oh, shit!" in shock. To which she responded into the megaphone, which she still had to her mouth, "Don't swear!"

Then Marc was announced the winner in his category! And I couldn't stay for her finish because I had to leave for my haircut, but Judy looked awesome as she headed out for loop 3 (go Judy!). And I was there when Wendy came in, and I'm sure she won in her category.

While I'm certain I will barely be able to walk tomorrow, my second toe (which is usually perpetually in agony when I run a lot, because the nail gets all deformed from repeated impact against my shoe, and I've tried lots of things but still haven't figured out how to fix that, and it's really weird because I don't have one of those insanely long 2nd toes, it's actually shorter than my big toe, yet my big toe is always fine, and aren't parentheses the coolest? You can go off on tangents without having to start a new paragraph!) isn't really bothering me yet.

So what's with Chairman Mao, you ask?

I have these legwarmers that are made of army green-colored wool. They have brass, army-ish buttons all down the outside. And they have built-in spats (they partially cover your shoes, with a strap that goes underneath the foot). Chairman Mao's been dead for, what, 30 years? He totally missed the Jane Fonda legwarmer craze. Anyway, Jane Fonda was pretty political. He probably despised Jane Fonda and all that her corrupt, capitalist legwarmers represented. But if he had worn legwarmers, people, he'd wear these! They just look so...communist. Then, the other night at the slideshow (where my 10K run plan was hatched), I was wearing them (they're very snuggly on a cold and/or rainy evening like yesterday) and it was brought up (who brought this up?!) that they could be British army legwarmers, and that, in fact, they just look "army." Usually, when I introduce them as my "Chairman Maos," people just think it's weird that I'd imagine Chairman Mao wearing legwarmers. But now people are actually imagining other nations' armies wearing legwarmers. From Anthropologie. A boutique that sells women's apparel, smelly soaps, candles, and coffee table books.

If this catches on in Britain (personally, I think France is more likely): They'll always be Chairman Maos to me, China!