E*Ville

Went to a movie with my Movie Husband yesterday at Bay Street.

We'd planned to meet up an hour early so that we could hang out, but you know how these things go. By the time we actually met up, we only had about 20 minutes before the movie, and we had to make a stop at Sephora, downstairs, because MH's hands were chapped, and he needed to moisturize. It's very bright at Sephora. I'm pretty sure you can damage your retinas if you stay there for too long. At the very least, you can see all your clogged pores as you walk by the mirror (I try to avoid the mirrors, but they're everywhere). So what with the movie, the blindness, and the blackheads, we had a few reasons to:

Get in;
get slathered;
and get out.

I made a beeline for the saleslady, who was giving some woman a makeover:

"Where's the man lotion?" said I.

There was laughter, so I joined in. MH said, "She's spunky, isn't she? She's my wife." It took me a moment to realize we were both talking about semen (my participation was involuntary). Saleslady totally never got it. Makeover lady had really wide eyes, but I think that's because things were beginning to go dark (macular degeneration - God knows how long she'd been in there, but whatever, I'm sure there was a creme for that in aisle 5). Saleslady pointed us in two opposite directions (lots of lightbulbs and mirrors in between). The manly stuff was over there, but the gender-neutrally-packaged stuff was over here! UGH! MH picked up a gazillion bottles, and at my urging, eventually pumped some random goop onto his hands (I'm 99% certain it was face cream). And off we went to the movie.

We saw Juno. It was excellent, honest to blog! The protagonist (Juno) has a hamburger phone. No need to get vegangelical: it was plastic. Oh, and when we were in line getting a drink for MH, I noticed a cute guy in line ahead of us. And then MH noticed the cute woman that Cute Guy was with, and decided that we could split them up, and I could have Cute Guy, and he could have Cute Woman. But then MH noticed Cute Woman's high-heeled fur-lined boots, and asked me if she looked like a hooker! And I'm all, "What?!" ( "yousoundlikeatotalmisogynist" tone) and then he's all, "What what?! That's not necessarily a bad thing. Hookers are attractive. They have to be. That's how they make money."

Way to spin it, counselor....